Monday, March 26, 2012


I dont know for what reason but all of a sudden yesterday at night when everyone else was sleeping I was awake still it was like 10pm at night and out of nowhere I started to remember about my high school crush his name was Francisco I know it was a long time ago and I have moved on and I kind of forgot about him I have not thought about him in a long time really because of all the other things that I have been doing. But either way i have not forgotten about him at all I still remember when he was in my spanish class for two years hahaha:) those two years were fun for me though we never got to talk for reals he would just ignore me but eventhoguh I still knew he really liked me and I liked him alot  also I could even tell everytime when I was around him how nervous he would get and of course everybody else in spanish class could tell also what was going on. I also remembered how I used to have a picture of him that I saw from the school newspaper its old but its still  pasted in my special box he used to be in jrotc at school and thats the only picture i have of him but at least its something. Then all of a sudden I started to cry tears came out from my eyes and I was laying down in my bed wetting my pillow and thinking of alot of stuff in my head but i felt good somehow because every tear that I used to cry for him every night just made me a stronger person and helped me to move on. The most important thing is that I learned how to let him go and if he was meant to be for reals then it will happen in the future but if not then thats ok because thats how life is and not everything in life can turn out as we wanted to but I just hope that he is ok whetever he may be and I am glad it happened because that just made me open up to love and know that someday I will find that special someone  i know he is out there I just have to keep on looking because if its not him then somebody else will be.

Friday, March 23, 2012

He is different:)!

Well I just barely met a guy his name is Edwin I just started messaging him on this website called myyeabook.com because when I saw his pofile and his pictures he seemed like a cute nice guy and when Im et him in person at the mall in whittier he seemed a little bit different from the outside but once whe started talking I got to see his personality and his life and I have to say that it's really interesting and at the same time hard but through it all he has been able to stay stron in order to help his parents, he told me about his parents, what he lies to do for fun, his friends and the jobs he has had in his past. I really felt something different with him something that I did not feel before when I met the last three guys from myyearbook because this time he di not kiss me and he did not talk to e abou hooking up he was just friendly and the good thing is that he asked me alot of questions about myself. He is the frst guy that made the firs move to ask me out on a date and im happy for that, wehave similar interests and he even told me that we should meet again the next time and to message him on myyearbook things that the other three guys never told me so I know this is getting off to a good start.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Having a mother with diabetes

Having a mother with diabetes is postive because it has made me realize everything that happens to someone when they have it and help me see that its important to take care of yourself in order to stay healthy. But on the other hand it is sometimes hard mainly because she can not sometimes control her anger when me or someone in the family makes a mistake it's as if she expects me and everyone else in the family to be perfect she does not accept mistakes and sometimes I dont agree with her. But I always try to see the positive side of this situation because she is my mother and eventhough sometimes I have problems with her I still love her and I really admire her for everything that she has done for me. On the other hand it has made me realize that I have to be a strong person and know that sometimes she gets angry at me when something is not right because she cares about me and she wants me to be a better person and have the opportunnities that she did not.  Sometimes it hurts me when she says that she does not expect anything from us when we start living on our own she thinks that we will just forget about her and we might not want to take care of her the way that she took care of us and I dont accept that because she is the one that gaved me life ive always helped her with almost everything Ive always been with her ever since I was born and my real father left me my twin sister and im really lucky and happy to have a mother like her because she has made me the good and smart person that I am today.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Boys, Boys Boys

Like who understands them seriously!

I always ask myself this question why do some guys only want to hook up? I mean I know that they only do it for fun but sometimes I just wish
for all of the guys to be the same and you know treat us girls with respect and really see who we are as individuals because we are human beings.
Im not the only girl that has gone thru that I know there are other girls out there who are feeling the same thing as I do and Im tired and sick
of guys that only want to treat me that way. Ive come to realize that I am a wonderful, beautiful, smart, and great girl that deserves more than just a hook up.

I want a guy who wants to make me happy a guy who wants to see the real me you know take me seriously for who I am a guy that is happy with me
when we kiss,cuddle, hold hands nothing more. I know I need to be strong and say no I feel its the right thing to do until I find someone special a guy who likes you
just to hook-up and nothing more is not worth your time because they are not in love with you they dont want to be your bf they are just infatuated by you and thats all.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

To the beat of my heart - Hilary duff

To the beat of my heart
Im thinking about letting it out
I wanna give in
I wanna go out
Been looking around Ive
finally found the
rhythm of love the feeling
of sound
Its making a change
the feeling is strange
Its comming right back
Right back in my  range
Not worried about anything else
Im waking up.

To the beat of my heart
It tears us apart.
Now im back to the start

Im up from my down I
turn it around
Im making it back Im not
gonna drown
Im taking a stance I wont
miss a chance
I want you to see im not scared to
The way that you feel could never
be real. I want you to know I finished
the deal
So im saying to you
I'll always be true to the rhythm inside.

To the beat of my heart, the beat of my
heart it tears us apart.

Monday, March 5, 2012

Travel through Writing: How Writing Can Literally Help You Achieve Goals

Writing can allow you to enter different worlds and mindsets. Writing is a lot like acting, in that it gives you the chance to "try on" different lifestyles. It is also a productive activity for helping you in the achievement of your life goals.

If you have never thought about your life goals, now is the time to start. No matter what hardship you’re facing, whether it be career or and illness such as mesothelioma, when you have life goals, your life feels a lot easier. You feel a sense of peace in letting out your heart's desires. Everyone has certain desires in their hearts that they would like to become manifested. Escape a grim cancer prognosis by expressing your desires through writing, and make these desires become a reality.

Perhaps you are itching for some romance in your life. No matter what obstacles you currently face in your life, you can achieve some romance in your life through the act of writing. By listing out the qualities of your future partner and envisioning yourself on dates with this partner through writing, you can start to attract this type of person into your life.

Or, maybe you simply want to become wealthier. Maybe you are short on cash. You dream about the conveniences of life that a life of luxury could offer you. You would never have to worry about paying bills again. Being wealthy might even help you achieve other goals, such as losing weight or buying a new home. But for most people, being wealthy would simply add a lot of conveniences into life. So, the way to gain some inspiration and attract wealth into your life is by envisioning it in your life.

Try writing some journal entries about what your life would be like with wealth. What would you do on a typical day? Would you simply meet your friends and family for coffee all day? Would you start a new painting for your home? Would you create an art gallery to display your paintings? There are so many different ways that your life could be turn out with the addition of wealth in your life. Writing gives you the chance to explore these different possibilities and to enjoy each one.

Lastly, writing also helps you gain inspiration in life by appreciating what you already have. Setting goals can be one way to gain a genuine sense of inspiration and motivation, but appreciating what you already have is also key. Appreciating what you already have gives you the sense that everything is already "complete" in your life and that you have no need for something else. When you do not have a sort of desperate need for things like wealth in your life, then they are much more likely to randomly come into your life as you write about them.